Category: Movies

JENNIFER LAWRENCE: NUDE PHOTOS & POLITICAL CORRECTNESS

9/6/2014

JENNIFER LAWRENCE: NUDE SELFIES & POLITICAL CORRECTNESS by Alan L. Chrisman

The recent leak of Jennifer Lawrence’s and other celebrities’ nude photos by a hacker has raised some interesting questions. It seems to me, to be mainly a generational thing. The younger generations, who’ve grown up with social media their whole lives, have a whole different definition and practice of “privacy”, than those who haven’t.

Many young people think nothing of revealing anything and everything about themselves on the internet. And that includes sexting, nude, and explicit photos. Supposedly, one in four of them has sent them and 40% have received them. One half of 18-24 year olds, according to one survey, send them. If these are to be believed, and I’m not saying they aren’t. Remember back in 1998 (which seems like a century ago now), when Bill Clinton argued that oral sex wasn’t really sex. This new generation, evidently, agrees.   How far we’ve gone since then.

It’s amazing how fast our social mores have changed. It started perhaps, with Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, reality shows, people famous for being famous, celebrity sex tapes, selfies, sexting, etc. I guess it was just a matter of time until the non-famous would want to be in on the act (no pun intended) too. So now you can be your own porn star and share it with friends and family.

This younger generation will, no doubt, say “what’s the big deal?” Get with the times, Man! Every generation thinks the previous ones are out of date. That’s a necessary part of being young, since time began.

And we live in politically-correct times (have for a while now). The Baby Boomers, more than any other generation perhaps, will do anything- not to get old. Youth is the magic elixir. If you have enough money of course, to buy the health supplements and organic food and get our hair dyed and tattoos, to show we’re still hip. We line up for the latest social media device. Everyone’s a writer. Everyone’s a musician. Everyone’s a poet. Everyone’s an artist. Everyone has a blog (including me!). Everyone can express themselves. Of course, few can make a living at these things anymore , because we also don’t want to have to pay for it.

But hey, this is the perfect democratic set-up, right?

Sex was once the taboo subject, but not anymore. Sex is everywhere; it’s out of the closet. My female bank tellers are wearing low-cut tops as part of their business attire and I have to try and keep my eyes on my bank deposits and not get accused of leering.   Middle-aged women want to look like their daughters. Their daughters want to go TV Idol shows and imitate famous people who can’t sing. College students are too often regressing to a rape culture, despite all the sex-equality education. And there’s little subtlety left about anything anymore.

But it’s dangerous and unpopular and politically incorrect to say these things, because we live in a “liberal” society. Nobody wants to be labeled a prude or intolerant. Racists don’t even consider themselves racists . Remember Donald Sterling? If you even question some of these things, some people will say,” You against Sex or something?” The worst crime is to be uncool.

No, we’re all so liberated. It seems to me that morals and politics is always about, really one thing-thinking the other guy is not as “open “as we are. Conservatives think liberals are too open and liberals think conservatives are not “open” enough. Comedian Mort Sahl said, “Liberals feel guilty about everything and conservatives think they have the right to own everything”. If we listened to our mainstream media, we’d think the news is just about scandals and what’s the latest video that’s gone viral. At one time only the tabloids specialized in those things.

I recently read a novel by Gary Shteyngart, Super Sad True Love Story, set in the perhaps, not too distant future. America has a one party government and China owns most of its economy. Everyone has a Credit Ranking and your social standing and any chance for advancement is based on that Ranking. Poor people have a low Ranking and are basically disposable. Also everyone has a personal device called an apparat, which allows everyone to find out anyone else’s Ranking (as well as their sex lives) and whether it’s worth associating with them or marrying them. So in this future, everyone knows everything about everyone else. Of course, the book is a sort of 1984-like Sci. Fi. satire.   Shteyngart has also, in 2014, released his painful, but uproariously funny memoir, Little Failure, about coming to America as a Russian immigrant and trying to adopt to his new land and how he finally found his true calling as a writer. In the previous Super Sad True Love Story, his character, Lenny, is a collector of “printed, bound media artifacts(aka) books.

Some people say that a world of more and more social media and is even desirable and less and less privacy is inevitable. We learn more everyday just how much governments and corporations know about us and everyday there is another mass breach of our privacy. Edward Snowden revealed that the NSA wanted to have eavesdropping abilities secretly put on every device sold to the public (and almost got away with it).

It’s true that new generations don’t seem too concerned with these things and also many of the older generation seem to just accept this “progress”. Perhaps, Shteyngart’s future society, where everyone knows everything about everyone else, may not be far off. But maybe we should at least question where this is leading us all. And maybe we should remember where we came from and not be so afraid of being accused of not being “with it”.

“HUMAN REALITY”                    Lyrics by Alan Chrisman c. 2013

1.There is no perfection                                Chorus:

Not everything is connected                 Everybody lies

There is no excuse                                   Everybody cries

There is no simple truth                         Everybody dies

                                                                    Not everybody flies

2.There is no black

There is no white                              4. There is no smart addict

There’s only wrong                            There is no escape

There’s only right                               There’s only ourselves to blame

                                                               There’s only human joy and pain



3.There’s not always a reason            5. The Spirit is overrated

Things are never simple                      Our ego’s are inflated

They are always complex                    Most have already made up their minds

It’s always a changing season             Few will take the necessary time

6.Doesn’t matter how much we say

Only what we do

Whether we deliver

And come through

We are not the same

7.We are not equal

We are not the same

We are all different

In more than a name

8.Only you can grow

Only you can know

And not be a slave

And can yourself save

Hear " HUMAN REALITY" By Al & THE G-Men under Songs and CD's Heading.

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"BABY BLUE" & BADFINGER: THE AMAZING SAGA OF A BAND

9/4/2014

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”BABY BLUE” & BADFINGER: THE AMAZING SAGA OF A BAND by Alan L. Chrisman

Badfinger has always been one of my favorite bands. Badfinger was a Beatles-produced band in the early 70’ who had 4 albums and 4 top singles on the Beatles’ label, Apple Records. Amazingly, one of my favorite songs by them “Baby Blue” had a resurgence in 2013, as it was chosen for the final episode of the popular Breaking Bad TV show, and it ended up back in the charts at no. 14. Some people may not know they also wrote the song, ”Without You” which Harry Nilsson had a number one hit with in 1972 and Mariah Carey in ’94.

Originally called The Iveys, they were the first non-Beatles band signed to their new Apple label in 1968. They changed their name to “Badfinger” after an incident when John Lennon had hurt his finger playing what was later to be the Beatles’ song, “With A Little Help from My Friends”. Paul McCartney wrote and produced their first big hit, “Come And Get It”, which was on their first Badfinger album, the soundtrack to the Peter Sellers movie Magic Christian Music, produced by Tony Visconti, later David Bowie’s producer. Their next album, “No Dice” had the afore-mentioned “Without You” and “No Matter What” hits released in 1970. Their 3rd Apple release was the solid “Straight Up” LP with “Baby Blue” produced by Todd Rundgren and “Day After Day”, produced by George Harrison.

The four members of the band were originally from Wales and Liverpool ( Pete Ham, guitar, Tom Evans, bass and Mike Gibbons, drums, Joey Molland guitar). Molland even looked similar to McCartney. They all four wrote songs so catchy that people often took them for the Beatles and their harmonies. They also played on several Beatles’ solo albums like Harrison’s All Things Must Pass and Ringo’s single,”It Don’t Come Easy”. And they played at Harrison’s Bangladesh Benefit Concert in ’71 and Ham with Harrison for his “Here Comes The Sun” duet.

But then fate was to turn on this storied band, for the Beatles broke up in 1970, just at the height of Badfinger’s success, with their record label in lawsuits and Badfinger’s money too tied up for years afterward. They released their final album for Apple, Ass, in 1973, with their goodbye song ” Apple of My Eye”. Afterwards, they got a deal with Warners Bros label, and released two decent albums Badfinger and Wish You Were Here in 1974. But they also met an unscrupulous new manager and he disappeared with the advance money the record company had given them and that put them on the financial hook for his actions and wouldn’t publicize their albums or release any future ones. . They went back in Apple’s studio one last time to record Head First, but it wasn’t released until 2000. And it was only the beginning of their troubles, for their main songwriter, Pete Ham, was found hanged in April, 1975. The remaining members tried to carry on in various bands and solo projects for the next several years. Molland and Evans recorded a “comeback” album Back on The Airways for Electra in ’79. It’s actually, one of their best, I think, besides their Apple releases, with several quite good songs on it like the title rocker and the Beatlely ballad single, “Love Is Gonna Come at Last”; I recommend it if you can find it.

I actually met the remaining members and got their autographs when they played Ottawa, Canada’s Barrymore’s Hall in the early 80’s. They released another decent album “Say No More” in ’81. But soon they fell apart again and at one time, there were two rival touring bands, one led by Evans, one by Molland, both claiming to be Badfinger. This led to more lawsuits and money woes and tragically, in Nov. ’83, Tom Evans also committed suicide, still evidently despondent over his earlier bandmate, Pete Ham’s, death eight years before.

Thus Badfinger’s story became more known for its tragedy than its music often, unfortunately. All the members had recorded various solo projects that were finally released over the years: Pete Ham’s 7 Park Avenue (’97) and Golder’s Green (’99); Tom Evan’s Over You: The Final Tracks(’95) and Molland has 4 albums After The Pearl (’85), The Pilgrim(’92),This Way Up(2001) and Return To Memphis (2013). Badfinger fans are advised to check them out for they all contain some well-written songs. I met member, Joey Molland, again at the Connecticut Beatles’ Convention in’94 and he signed my beloved original Apple album Staight Up. Goldmine collector’s magazine said that Straight Up was the most requested out-of- print album in 1988 their subscribers wanted released again. Under pressure, Apple Records did re-release their Badfinger albums on CD , as Come And Get It: The Best Of Badfinger in 1995 and the Very Best Of Badfinger in 2000.

Finally in 2013, the surviving member of Badfinger, Molland, (drummer Gibbons died in Florida in 2005) and the other members’ families got their royalty payments settled in court. Pete Ham’s song “Without You” alone was worth over a half million dollars for his in ’94, when Mariah Carey had hit again with it. With Breaking Bad’s re-hit of “Baby Blue, 42 years after its first release, there would be no doubt more to come.

So the amazing story of Badfinger was to be fated both good (produced by and played with The Beatles) and bad. Dan Matovina’s book, Without You: The Tragic Story of Badfinger was written in 1998 and re-issued in 200O.

But to me, what’s important is their great music, that’s stood the test of time and I was lucky to get to meet them and hear them play their songs. Badfinger remains one of my favorite bands and their songs have proven to last. One of the bands I managed, played “ Baby Blue” , especially for me, at the Ottawa Beatles’ Conventions I organized. For You, Baby Blue.

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THE BEATLES: WHY THEY STILL MEAN SO MUCH

8/17/2014

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“THE BEATLES EFFECT”: WHY THEY STILL MEAN SO MUCH

by Alan L. Chrisman

I just re-read Chris O’Dell’s book, Miss O’Dell: My Hard Days and Long Nights with The Beatles, Stones, Dylan, & The Women They Loved, about working for many of rock’s greatest artists. It’s been out a few years now, but you know how sometimes you don’t always fully get an album or book the first time. But as Patti Boyd, says on the cover, “It’s a riveting, honest, brave account and I couldn’t put the book down”. She would know because she was George Harrison’s first wife and O’Dell became one of her best friends.

Miss O’Dell, a girl from small-town Oklahoma, through a chance meeting with Derek Taylor, one of their close associates, gets a job possibility to come to London and work for the Beatles’   new company, Apple Corps., 1968.   Just the right amount of smarts and assertiveness leads her to become one of their most trusted inner-circle. She stays at their homes and becomes good friends with their wives. She does many things, especially, for George and Patti, including the typing of George’s lyrics for his break-through solo album, All Things Must Pass and he writes a song for her,” Pisces Apple Lady”. She attends Beatles’ recording session (something that even Beatle wives weren’t supposed to do, until Yoko) and sings behind “Hey Jude”. She also meets many of their rock star friends like Mick Jagger, Bob Dylan, and was briefly intimate with them as well as Ringo, even, at one point. For she becomes their confidante, as well, something that rock idols seemed to need, as they have to live in often isolated worlds.

She tells these amazing inside stories and gives us a glimpse at what these larger than life personalities were really like and is especially good at capturing the complexities of each. Miss O’Dell shows us what it’s like to be Rock Royalty. We think their lives are so glamorous and they are, and they can indulge their excesses-drink, drugs, and egos more because they have the power and money to do so. But it seems it’s just one less thing to worry about perhaps, for as human beings, there’s always something else wanted. So each Beatle tried to find his own peace, in different ways. At one point, George tells Miss O’Dell, that she’s “the lucky one”, a less complicated life perhaps and without all the increased expectations. Many of them would also pay a price for their fast lives in the 60’s, as a list of their relatively-early deaths, at the end of her book reveals.

But when The Beatles fall apart and she has to find another job, she misses being in on the action, and becomes increasingly involved in heavier drugs herself. She then becomes the tour manager for some of the top other rock acts, Stones, Dylan, CSNY, and many others. Her organizational skills and abilities at satisfying rock star’s demands and egos come in handy. It’s no wonder she later went back to school and became a Professional Personal and Abuse Counselor. She remained friends with The Beatles and their wives and ex-wives and many others she knew closely. So, Miss O’Dell is a fascinating and rare inside story of The Beatles and her own life.

You Never Give Me Your Money & The Beatles After the Break-up by Peter Doggett

Reviewed by A. Chrisman

I’ve always been most fascinated with two periods of The Beatles, especially, their beginnings in Liverpool and Hamburg and in their later years 1968-70, before their break-up. The irony is that I think they made some of their most interesting music at those times. Besides many of us being affected by them, The Beatles Story is, I think so intriguing, because it really encompasses a bit of everything-from rags to riches beginnings, youthful ideals, artistic success, love, later in-fighting, and perhaps even, eventually a kind of redemption. In other words, all the things, that all of us, as human beings probably go through in our own relationships and lives. But their journey happens at a much higher profile and speeded-up rate. After all, they as a group, The Beatles, only lasted about 10 years. It’s hard to believe because so much happened in that time. It truly was at a special time in history, “The Sixties: The Decade That Changed the World’, as some have called it.

They were a big part of that, for they revolutionized not only pop music and culture, but so much more. I think that is why The Beatles continue to fascinate us, not only the Baby boomers who grew up with them, but also generations to come.

Peter Doggett points out in his book, You Never Give Me Your Money & The Beatles After the Break-up that their own company, Apple Corps. began in 1968 originally as a way, suggested by their financial advisors, to protect their money from the British tax system. But The Beatles, being artists and not businessmen, saw it also as a way to help other up-and-coming artists. They never forgot how they themselves had been pretty well ignored by the music industry, until a little-respected branch of Britain’s EMI record label and a potential-seeing producer, George Martin, finally gave them a chance.

They had this idealistic and youthful 60’s ideal that they could perhaps offer that chance to others at the same time. But pretty soon, as with the excesses of the sixties, a lot of freeloaders started taking advantage of them and Apple. And it was fast becoming a financial mess. On top of that, The Beatles were going in different directions themselves, personally and creatively. Always before they had, despite the differences between members, especially John and Paul, the creative-opposites and main songwriters on which they revolved, been able to come together. There was always a bit of rivalry between John and Paul, as anyone who’s has had an older sibling can understand, and they needed the others’ approval, and it made for a balance in their song writing. But now George too, was coming into his own as a songwriter, and felt unrecognized by the other two. They were also, at the same time, fighting just to keep control of their song publishing, for which they had had to made deals in the beginning. They had left all the business decisions to their manager, Brian Epstein, but he was no longer there to protect them and the businessmen and lawyers saw their chance. So it was the perfect storm. Soon The Beatles were divided into different camps. There was street-wise, Allan Klein, that John & Yoko admired (and George and Ringo went along with) on one side and McCartney and his wife, Linda Eastman’s more refined lawyer family on the other. Doggett documents, step by step, the long drawn out battle. The interesting thing though is, it seemed nobody really did totally want to end their fruitful partnership, but like in a torn marriage, no one also wants to admit they’re wrong. And the divorce proceeds.

So it comes to an end, tellingly, at the same time as the 60’s decade ends. The split, especially in such acrimony, sends shockwaves throughout the pop culture. For, as I say, The Beatles had become more than just a pop band. They represented the hope of the Woodstock generation that we could all get along on just love and peace. Then John Lennon, in one of his first Beatles-split solo albums sang, “ The dream is over” and that he didn’t believe in Beatles as well as all the other icons we had looked up to.   He said he just believed in “Yoko and me and that’s reality”. He was no longer the Elvis-inspired, teenage wannabe rocker that had gotten him to start The Beatles.

Many fans still hoped, for years after, that somehow they (or our idealized vision of them) would somehow hold time at a standstill and re-unite. But it was not to be. Times had changed and so had they. They had grown up and so would we. They continued in their solo albums and lives, Paul with Linda and Wings, John with Yoko, George fulfilled his acceptance as a songwriter, and Ringo just being himself. But The Beatles were always more than the sum of their individual parts, as became apparent. Ironically, they were still to compete with each other throughout their solo careers (and secretly meet with each other) and even came close a couple times to, possibly, re-forming. By 1973, Klein was replaced as head of Apple by their long time loyal Liverpool assistant and got it back on track, Neil Aspinall (whom my Russ/Cdn. friend, Yury Pelyushonok, got to know a bit when they were discussing possibly publishing his book about the Beatles’ effect on the Soviet Union and he described Aspinall as their “guardian angel”).   But then John was assassinated by a fan and later George was stabbed by another mentally ill fan and then died of cancer.

So The Beatles’ Story, took on almost Shakespearian proportions. As I said, it had everything-innocence, great achievement, even sadly, tragedy. It also paralleled our own lives and journeys as many of us also went through our own innocence, loves and perhaps relationship break-ups. But of course, there are the magnificent songs that have remained timeless.   True artists articulate a society’s and people’s feelings, often in advance, and perhaps when we hear or see them, we see our own reflections. The Beatles were able in their songs, more than any other group, perhaps, to capture a range of emotions with which a wide cross-section of us could identify. The energy, hope and innocence of their early “Yeah Yeah” songs to the experimental albums and songs of Rubber Soul, Revolver, Peppers, White Album, to the bittersweet/ break-up Let it Be and yet they were somehow to end with the beautiful harmonies of Abbey Road. And their solo albums also reflected their and our more coming to grips with our maturity. The Beatles were always able to affect people on many different levels at the same time. “ I am he as you are he and we are all together”, as John Lennon sang on, “I Am The Walrus”. “Imagine” is played every New Year’s Eve in Times Square and John Lennon is respected for his ideals and music and Harrison for his songs and his spirituality. The Beatles finally released the documentary & The Anthologies in the mid-90’s, which Neil Aspinall had first conceived and had been compiling since 1970 and it sold 30 million copies and were the top selling albums in the world those years and showed their longevity. 50 years later and counting, Paul and Ringo are still performing and able to bask in their well–earned legacy. And there’s even a kind of redemption in that.

I ‘m still amazed myself, how new generations are still affected by them, all these years later, a half-century later now since their North American Invasion. I was at a family get-together, recently, and a grand- nephew of mine came up to me to introduce his high school girlfriend to me. Evidently he had told her that I knew some things about The Beatles. She was all ga-ga (and not for Lady Ga-Ga evidently), but for The Beatles. So I told her a couple of my own Beatles’ experiences and gave her a copy of my book, “It’s A Long Way Home” (& How Beatles’ Music Saved My Life). I noticed that she was like those young awe-struck first Beatles’ fans or like we were when we first saw them on the Ed Sullivan show. She could relate just as much to them, even all these decades later. Somehow their songs were able to still capture all those moments in time and the emotions. And it wasn’t just the Babyboomers, like me who had grown up with them, but for new generations to come too, it seemed.  The girl insisted on giving me a hug after, and I knew some things would always feel the same. “Yeah Yeah Yeah”

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DIANE KEATON("ANNIE HALL") HAS STILL GOT IT!

8/5/2014

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DIANE KEATON (“ANNIE HALL”) HAS STILL GOT IT!

By Alan L. Chrisman

Like many men, I’ve long had a crush on Diane Keaton, especially since her defining role of Annie Hall in Woody Allen’s classic film of the same name in 1977. But even before that, she stood out in his previous films, Play It Again, Sam (’72) Sleeper (’73) and Love and Death (‘75).

The accomplished actress has also been a director, producer, and photographer and writer. She just released her 2nd memoir/ book, Let’s Just Say, It Wasn’t Pretty, after her previous one, Then Again.

I’ve always wondered though, how much she was really like her screen persona (or was she more of a Woody Allen-created character?). She says in her new book that Woody Allen made Diane Keaton, the actress (her real name was Diane Hall). He also had a relationship with her and its clear his Annie Hall film and character was partly based on their real relationship, which is why I think it rings so true still.

She made films and had relationships with Al Pacino (The Godfather ’72), Warren Beatty (Reds ’81) and Jack Nicholson (with whom she later made Something’s Gotta Give, 2003). But these men were at the time, certainly, not the settling-down type of guys. Although, as with Allen, who she says is still one of her best friends, she has remained good friends with them too.

But she has remained unmarried. A large part of “Pretty” is about her present life as a single mother with her two adopted teen-aged children, Dexter and Duke.

So what is she really like? She reveals in the book, she likes to buy and renovate houses (her dad was a real estate agent and engineer). Her mother was a homemaker and creative and inspired her to pursue an artistic profession. She has portraits on her wall of some of her favorite men’s faces: Abraham Lincoln, John Wayne, Gary Cooper, Sam Shepard, (which may say something about her ideal of men, or perhaps, is reminiscent of her late father).

She’s 68 now and still wearing the thick belts, wide brimmed hats, etc. which she made fashionable in the 70’s. She has a new film And So It Goes out now with another “silver fox”, as she calls him, Michael Douglas. She’s resisted plastic surgery as so many other actresses her age haven’t; she says young people mix her up with everyone from Jane Fonda to Katy Perry!

In the book she even quotes some of the funny dialogue from two of my other favorite Woody Allen films with Keaton in them, Sleeper and Love and Death. There’s a scene in Sleeper, set in the future, where they’ve escaping from the bad guys and they’re hungry so Woody (Miles) finds these giant vegetables and fruit growing and he drags this gigantic banana for them to munch on, and Keaton (Luna), playing a spoiled woman of the future, says is that the best you can do? In Love and Death, Russian Sonja (Keaton) wants to get Boris (Allen) to join in a plot to assassinate Napoleon; he just wants to have sex with her and says he might not be up to a performance, although he wouldn’t mind “rehearsing”. In Everything You Wanted to Know about Sex, Allen playing a jester, finds a wife wearing a metal chastity belt and tries to break through it at her crotch using a large lance, as he says something like, “Yes, I shall try and openeth thy box with thy trusty shaft”.   In all these, Allen shows the lengths men (sometimes foolishly) will go for a beautiful woman like Keaton. In Annie Hall, one of its many great scenes, is when Allen and Keaton are in a park just observing people go by and Woody asks people what makes relationships work- everyone has a different answer. Soon they see a super-handsome couple, like out a Hollywood poster, and the couple says,” We’re both superficial and shallow”. Allen, when at his best, has no equal when it comes to expressing both the pain and joy in relationships and yet making us laugh, hilariously, at the same time.

Is Diane Keaton really like Annie Hall? From her books and interviews on late night TV shows, she sure seems to be a lot like her-that same unique, quirky, but lovable character of a woman. It’s easy to see why Allen and so many others of we men have fallen for her.

LA-DI-DA! Diane Keaton still has It!

I had my own sort of “Annie Hall” moments in a relationship. This is a short excerpt from my own recent memoir, “ It’s A Long Way Home”: CHAPTER 19: LADY IN RED pt. 2 (“Annie Hall”)

I had over the past two years, since I’d first noticed that “LADY IN RED” walking down the street, seen her around my neighborhood. A couple of times, I saw her with a cute little girl. I figured she must be a single mom. I was still very curious about her, but had been trying to make my marriage work. Finally, one day, when I was divorced and separated again, I saw her walk by my store.   I just ran up to her on the street. I didn’t know what to say, so I mumbled, believing somewhat in astrology, the worst pick-up line, ”When’s your birthday?’ She replied, ”Why it’s tomorrow!” I had guessed someone’s sign again. I mentioned that I had a little record shop in the neighborhood and maybe she would like to drop by sometime (thinking I had probably blown it).

But the very next week, to my immense surprise, she did come in. And she was wonderful-very intelligent, warm, had a great laugh, and was beautiful (my ideal). We hit it off from the first time. She said her name was Anne and that she was a photographer. She continued coming in on a regular basis. We didn’t always agree, but she was always stimulating. I started buying her lunches from a take-out pita place next door when she would drop in, as well as our usual tea. It was good to have someone to treat once in a while. Like I said, she was full of surprises. It was nearing Christmas and I asked her what I could get her and she asked for a certain book.

I now called her Annie, the same as one of my favorite Woody Allen characters, played by Diane Keaton in “ANNIE HALL”.

But sometimes the pressures would build up and we’d argue over books, movies, music, anything, and she’d withdraw for a while. Once, early on, she hadn’t talked to me for several weeks. I saw her go by my store and next door to the pita place. I had been rehearsing a joke in case I did run into her, from a Woody Allen movie: “A man goes into a bar, and he notices a guy with carrots in his ears. The man asks the bartender, “Why?”   The bartender says, “Why don’t you ask him when he comes in tomorrow at 5 p.m.?” Next evening, sure enough, the guy comes in, but this time the guy has bananas in his ears. So the man asks the guy, “Why the bananas in your ears?” The guy replies, ”Because I ran out of carrots”.

Woody Allen said that relationships are like that; they often don’t make any sense, but we need them. So I tell her the joke while she waits for her pita. And she laughs. It works! And she drops by my store right after and we talk.

Another time, she cuts off me for 6 months! It’s the worse winter in years; record snowfalls. She won’t even talk to me, but each pay check, I leave a little gift in her mailbox-a book, DVD movie, music, etc. Finally, one time I leave a note. She angrily calls me back and says never to leave a note again. But I asked her if I could still leave gifts, and she said, ”OK”. I knew she was keeping the door open a little. Soon after, I ran into her in a parking lot. I had changed cars, I didn’t think she recognized me, so I rolled down the window and said, ”You know you could call me sometime”. The next morning, she calls me and we discuss it very briefly.   And she always did it this way; she puts the phone down and then calls right back. I ask her if she’d like to go for lunch.   We meet and it’s soon forgotten and we’re back on track again. So it was never dull. People outside, even friends, can try to judge, but nobody can really understand anybody else’s relationships. Sometimes even the people inside them don’t even know how they work or don’t. The old carrot and banana joke again.

“Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge.       Others only gargle”.      Woody Allen.

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MUSIC AND POP CULTURE BLOG, Written by Alan L. Chrisman

JENNIFER LAWRENCE: NUDE PHOTOS & POLITICAL CORRECTNESS

"BABY BLUE" & BADFINGER: THE AMAZING SAGA OF A BAND

THE BEATLES: WHY THEY STILL MEAN SO MUCH

DIANE KEATON("ANNIE HALL") HAS STILL GOT IT!

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